![]() Why in the world would you post that sign?” “That certainly does not look like a dangerous dog to me. The stranger could not help but be amused. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” On the door of the general store, a customer noticed the sign reading, “DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!” He carefully entered the store, but once inside all he saw was a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. “No, because he is really, really heavy.” At long last, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.” The vet thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well, let’s have a look at him.” The vet picks the dog up while examining his eyes. The wife responded, “But we’ve never subscribed to any!”Ī man takes his Bulldog to the vet and says “My dog is cross-eyed. Her husband replies, “Well, lots of dogs can do that.” He brings in the daily newspapers every morning.” One weekend morning, a wife says to her husband, “We’ve got such a clever dog. The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “Sure, the toilet’s right around the corner.” ![]() Have you ever seen a talking dog before? Amazing, right? How about a drink?” He looks the bartender straight in the eye and says, “Hey, guess what? I can talk. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.Ī dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. ![]() Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Q: What kind of dog wears contact lenses?Ī: Because it’s too hard to run in squares. Q: How do you stop a dog from barking in your front yard? Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper? Q: What kind of dog can jump as high as a tall building? Q: What breed of dog loves to take a bath? Q: What’s more amazing than a talking dog? Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?Ī: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. So without further ado, here are my favorite dog jokes, most of which I will be telling to my future kids with the same disregard for their popularity and comfort level as my dad did before me: They might be a little silly, but they are easy to remember, easy to tell, and the reaction to the joke is always entertaining. Now that I’m an adult, I have come to appreciate those kinds of jokes. They were mostly puns, seemingly aimed at an audience of age 6 or less. Growing up I always felt like my dad’s jokes were the cheesiest and was always embarrassed around my friends. ![]()
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